by Joan Angarano
In today’s changing times, when Earth and all of Her inhabitants are going through so many changes, making it easy to feel confused and desperate, I sit here with my ailing dog, Nick, and begin to let my mind wander:
We are on day two, watching to see if the treatment we’ve started will give Nick some more time here with us. He is 14 years young; at least he was young until Sunday night changed that. Actually it is vestibular syndrome which has changed Nick’s normal vitality and zest, making him seem every second of his age. Literally, moments before the “attack” none of us had any idea what was to happen.
Of course, I did dream three nights earlier that I was spreading his ashes around the only back yard he has ever known. But when I woke I thought I had just jumped a few time lines, not an unusual occurrence for me in my dream body (or any other body really).
So here I sit watching Nick sleep, which is much more preferred to watching him try to navigate what is for him a spinning world. And as I have tons of time on my hands with little desire to focus on anything but him, I decide to completely immerse my Self with his Self, attempting to know what he wants from me, whether he wants to stay or leave.
Following is what he told me:
Nick says it doesn’t matter whether he is here or there, he loves me and knows I love him back. He doesn’t care if I fight for his body to stay with me longer because for him, as much as he loves the hugs and the food, the food mostly, he is – even if his body isn’t- always loving me unconditionally.
After all, says Nick, it’s all about love. Life is about love and there is nothing else that’s real. That’s why dogs are so loyal, even to those who treat them badly.
Even if they don’t have opposable thumbs, they have something that is even more important in the grand scheme of things – they have hearts, minds and souls that know only love.
And those really mean dogs, made so by very wounded owners, are in it for love too. They continually love those that are so mean to them, always hoping to change their hearts. They never judge them, for that limits love, and the potential for change.
According to Nick, when people say it’s a dog’s life, they’re right. For it’s our dogs, who love unconditionally and without judgment. And that’s a great life indeed!
We then collectively decide that yes, he will stay with me in his body. I need to ask if he’s staying for the food or the hugs. His answer – yes!
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