by Helaine Z. Harris
We all know how good it feels when we do a “Spring Cleaning” in our home, making our living space roomy and open. Just like on the outside, once we remove the emotional clutter inside, it is amazing how quickly things change. So let’s stop watering the weeds in our head. Instead, clear them out and make room for spring flowers.
Robert Holden, author of “Happiness Now!” has said, “What you focus on most often becomes familiar, and what is familiar feels real to you.” So now is the time to cast out all your emotional debris and replace it with fresh new “familiar” ones.
Remember: behavior change happens first by clearing the sabotaging emotions and then the beliefs that hold them in place. Only then do behaviors change outside.
Let’s clean your Inner Temple, your inner body. Here are some tools to with cleans your Being.
1. Center Yourself: First quiet yourself and take a few moments to meditate. Allow the silence to be your teacher. Have your journal by your side to record your thoughts and progress. Then ask your inner self – or better yet, your Higher Self – “Which behavior patterns, beliefs and emotional reactions are not serving me now?” Listen inside. Some of you receive images, words, physical sensations, a sound, or a moving picture to represent your answers. Write and write, without editing or questioning. Bear witness to what comes through, without judgment.
2. Notice what emotions and reactions occur. Separate your list into sections, if you desire. For example, some categories might be: Negative Self-Talk, Excuses I Make, Procrastination Areas, Excessive Emotions like Anger, Resentments or create your own categories.
3. Decide on which emotional baggage issue you want to release or shift first. Number the rest of the negative beliefs or reactions that emerged so you have the order of what you want to deal with when ready.
4. Select the method or technique you wish to use to release these old reactions. Some of the best methods for releasing negative emotions are EFT, Self-hypnosis, Reichian work, and if it’s one of the biggies connected to the fear and anger of abuse, EMDR may be the method of choice, in which case it’s important to work with a therapist. For some issues, like everyday anger, it might be a cognitive method such as, “Count to 10 when I get angry before speaking or doing something.” Or, “I will write in my journal until the emotion subsides.” Even better, I will take a 15 minutes walk or run first to release my feelings.”
5. Decide on a time frame for working with each emotional issue. Remember: your time frame needs to be flexible. Be gentle on yourself.
6. Notice the underlying fears, concerns or issues that arise as you change each behavior. These are sort of like piggyback issues connected to the main one that is triggering issue or emotion. You may need to address these aspects as they come up. Although it takes time, it is really important to go as deeply as possible in releasing your issues. The rewards are tremendous.
7. Make a list of positive messages, emotions and responses you would rather experience in your life. Include in your list what you could do to feel more empowered. You might choose affirmations or choice statements. There are a couple of examples at the end of this article.
8. Evaluate your progress. You may choose to evaluate daily or weekly. You decide what works best for you. Changes occur internally first before any visible outward shifts are noticeable. Be aware of any subtle or tangible differences in your behavior.
9. Create a Gratitude List. Every time you do something positive towards a behavior change, write it on your gratitude list. Seeing what you have accomplished gives you a feeling of pride and makes it easier to continue working on these internal changes.
10. Reward yourself by a simple pat on the back. Or, find another way to reward yourself that feels good inside. When I’ve worked on and accomplished something that is personally challenging, I reward myself with a break and enjoy talking to a friend. How can you reward you in a meaningful way?
If you find it too difficult or uncomfortable in releasing these issues on your own, I suggest working with an experienced psychotherapist, healer or coach who has an expertise in this area.
Here are positive choice statements that might work for you. Try it – you might like it.
I choose to totally and fully take charge of my emotional reactions and behavior patterns.
I am enjoying feeling clearer, lighter and freer emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually!
If you come up with any really good affirmations or choice statements, let me know. I love sharing these with all of you.
Now – Go out and smell the roses!
Helaine Z. Harris, LMFT psychotherapist, intuitive business coach, shamanic healer and founder of An Awakening Center™, which blends over 45 traditional and alternative psychotherapies. She has 35 years experience and is the author of Are You In Love with a Vampire? Healing the Relationship Drain Game. Shespecializes in anxiety/depression, trauma, empowerment, relationship, and loves training therapists, healers and interns in Energy Psychology and alternative modalities. She is part of the Red Cross Disaster Mental Health Team and the past Education Director for the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP).
Tags – healing, release emotions, psychotherapy, self-help, emotional, clarity, self-help, mental help, spiritual Spring cleaning, emotional Spring cleaning, life coaching, prosperity, abundance, centering, self-esteem, self-realization, positive thinking