by Shirley Scott – animal communicator/psychic
One of the hardest situations we all face is that of relationships. We all want to have a loving relationship. From the moment we’re born, we start looking for love. I’ve always wondered why and this is what I was told by my spirit guide, Three Eagles.
“We come from a place of total love on the spirit side of the veil before we’re born into this world. The action of cutting the umbilical cord is physical but when this happens, we suddenly feel disconnected from Spirit and from the love we knew when we were on the other side. So we start looking for that love, feeling and fulfillment on this side. We can never really achieve it because there in nothing in the human consciousness that can compare to the love of our Create(s) and angels and all the souls that live in Spirit. That’s why love and acceptance are so important to us when we incarnate. We miss the feeling of total love, support and Spirit.”
Well, that makes a lot of sense to me. However, it still doesn’t help us in relationships here unless we step back from them and view each relationship as a lesson or a healing. If we start to understand that everyone we meet, smile at or acknowledge in some way is a lesson or healing, the meaning of “relationship” changes.
When we are in a friendship, we try to do things that will help each other grow. We can point out possible flaws in a way to help people correct them or think of things in a different manor so they can see how others may view their words or actions. Friendships can last a lifetime or a person may come into our lives for a brief time to teach us something.
When we’re in a marriage or committed relationship, the dynamics of a “friendship” usually change. Some how this kind of a relationship makes us feel that we now have the right to control or own the other person in some way. And let’s face it, most of the time sex changes everything!
But relationships should be just that, a bond or feeling of love and respect from and to each other. Relationships, whether they’re a friendship, family relations, marriage, or any other kind of connection, should be one with boundaries and respect. We never have the right to tell someone what to do or where to go. This is a violation of their free will and power. Just because we are living with someone or we think we know someone is no reason to try and put a collar on them like we do animals.
But let’s look at what can happen to relationships as we grow as human beings.
When we’re babies, we rely on our parents or care givers for everything. We don’t know how to take care of ourselves and even if we did, we have major limitations as babies. The first is our size and not being able to walk or reach what we need. We have to be taught to eat, talk, walk and many things that we take for granted as we get older, just like we start to take relationships for granted when we are in them for a long period.
As we get older and learn things, we aren’t as dependent on our parents or others. We start to do things for ourselves. We even get to a point where we think we can do anything and everything we want too; this would be called “the teenage years”. But as we continue to grow and learn, we understand that life is a continuing process of learning and experiencing different things everyday.
By the time we’re middle aged adults, we usually have a healthy understanding that we’ll never know it all but it’s okay to just keep learning and growing. We learn different things and let go of ideas that we don’t believe in or need anymore, just like we throw away cloths that are worn out or we’ve out grown. And have you noticed that we do this with people too?
Many times the friends we had in grade school change when we get into junior high and then they change again in high school and then again in college. And many times after college, our friends change again with the work we do.
We never question these changes because they just seem natural to us. We’re growing and learning and moving into different areas of our lives. We don’t expect all the people we meet in our life will move with us or even stay in touch with us. It’s just part of life for some of these relationships to fall by the wayside to made room for other people to enter our lives.
But when we get into a relationship that involves our body, mind and spirit, it changes. We go into a defensive mode whether we realize it or not. We don’t want to get hurt so we try to control the relationship in ways that can and do make our partners crazy. Most of this control is because we think it will keep us safe and keep the other person from hurting us, but in the long run, it only hurts us more.
This control can lead to things like wanting to know where your partner is going, what they’re doing and who’s on the phone with them. Now some of this is okay in a informative way, but when it gets to be obsessive, it also gets to be intrusive for our partners. If we step back from the situation, we’ll see that our partners where brought into our life to help us learn lessons. And we can learn those lessons the hard way or the easy way, that’s up to us and our free will.
However, unlike the other relationships we have had all our lives, we tend to hang on to a marriage or sexual relationship more than a “just friends” relationship. This is because we feel we’ve “given” more to this other person. After all, we have given our love, bodies, minds and our souls. In other words, we have given them our power, so we expect something in return.
What we should be doing when we enter into a relationship like this is to remember it’s okay to give our love, our bodies and to share our minds but to never give anyone our power or souls. We should always keep the power to know we are okay without the other person. Personal power is not control over anything except yourself. It’s knowing that if the other person walks out the door, it’s okay. You’ll live and can be a better person for it.
When a relationship ends, we should look at it like a lesson learned and it’s time to move on. Or maybe we got stuck in a rut and both people had to move on to someone else to learn their lessons. Maybe there was unhealed karma between these two people and when it was healed, it was time to part and find someone else that needed us in someway.
If we can start to look at relationships as coming together for a purpose and when it’s finished we part, we could part in love not anger. We would heal the karma without making more to heal later on. We could still be friends and be grateful for what we learned and the fact that we got to have that person in our life.
And if the relationship never ends, then it’s not supposed too. It’s just that simple. We try to read and put too much into situations. We want to analyze things until they don’t make sense. Stop it! Just knowing that we have learned and grown as a human should be enough.
I’ve seen many couples break up because one of them starts a different path after being together for years. This path is usually a path of spiritual or mental growth and one partner is learning and growing while the other doesn’t want a thing to do with it. It’s okay because this is free will and we will gravitate to where our interests and goals lay.
But if one person has different dreams and visions, it will probably pull your relationship apart instead of growing together. And there is nothing wrong with this. It just means you and your partner are on different paths.
When two people on are the same spiritual and mental journey, they can be there to support each other and the relationship usually grows into an adventure of a life time. But when one is growing north and the other is growing south, division is must likely to happen so that both individuals can continue to grow and learn. There is nothing wrong with this either. Both situations are okay and both situations should have no blame or guilt around them.
So if you’re in a relationship and your partner leaves you for someone else, try to step off the stage and view it like it really is, a parting of ways to continue growth in different directions. The relationship was meant to be for you and them to learn something about each other. It was supposed to happen to help you grow in someway. Don’t hold anger or revenge for the other person because when you do that, you’ve just stopped your own growth.
If it hurts, feel the hurt but don’t let it take the your personal power away. We all have to move forward and forgive. Remember, once we die and cross back over to the Spirit world, we’ll be back in the love we know so well.
When the umbilical cord is cut, it’s only symbolic. When a relationship is ended, it’s only symbolic of a new beginning.
I hope this will help you see that even though relationships can have some powerful dynamics around them, we should remember that in the real world it’s only a passing of souls that have known each other for millions of years and will again meet on the other side in love and understanding. You can never really own or lose a relationship. You only come together on this side to help each other grow, learn and heal.
Shirley Scott – animal communicator/psychic
To learn more visit www.shirley-scott.com
@2018